I hate that feeling when you have NO IDEAS. I’ve been working on one design for THREE WEEKS and can’t get ANYWHERE.

I’ve made a cool drawing, and found lots of good fonts and photos, but NO FINAL DESIGN.

why can't I do that?
<<

I should do something else now.

I think that, when I’m off work, I’ll make a hoodie and try to sell it for money. Because I won’t have money when I stop working. Okay.

And I think I might try photography again. And maybe I’ll sell those for money too. Because that would be a nice thing to say I did once. Alright.

These are the things I want to learn:
Design. I want to learn how to be clever. I put too much pressure on myself right now to be clever with no education. (or real experience)
Fashion design. What makes a good design good? What are the rules and secrets to flatter each body type? How to sew properly and make patterns and sizes.
Entrepreneurial skills. How to start a business, and make it successful, and how to find out if there’s a market out their for the ideas in my head.
Business and people management. I want to be the best boss ever. But also highly profitable.
Secret rules of photography. What are the things no one ever notices, but completely make or break a photo?
Language. Someone cool is going to learn 5 languages by the time he’s 22. Me too, please! I will revisit Spanish, and get it fairly fluent. Then I want to learn Japanese. Swahili. French. No no no no! Not French! Maybe some European language.
Cell leadership. I want to be a really good cell leader. I want to pray and study for them. Not facilitate, but lie down and let them walk on my back across the gulf.

OkayThankYouu! OkayByeee!

Death.

Death is really funny in how final it is. To humans, at least. I almost can’t take it.

And, like, … he’s gone… just gone. I’ll never talk to him again. Never hear any news again. Never be able to pray for him. It’s so final. He’ll never be able to change his mind, or go back and do things again.

Oh how I hope he maybe softened his heart and let the light of Jesus in on his damaged frozen soul! How I hope to be surprised, and I see his soft, honest face in heaven!

Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you. (Rev.3.2-3)

Strengthen what remains.
Family remains.
Strengthen his family.

I’m sorry, God, that my deeds have not been found complete in your eyes! Would you fill me up to all the fullness in Christ!

So sorry if I randomly get quiet, and maybe cry… It’s just that when I think about it the right way, it fills my heart with water that comes out my eyes, and makes my heart heavy.